It’s hard to keep up with these, or want to at some points. I think about writing here often, but something within me doesn’t see purpose behind it.
This is only my second entry, about a month apart from the prior. Maybe I can work towards improving that cadence. Don’t get me wrong, this concept here is just a bit strange to me. Writing some of my personal thoughts in a public setting, accessible by millions. That’s part of the conundrum of keeping cadence. I need to be able to write something with that in mind, to not expose too much.
Things have been improving. I’ve kept up with some of my revelations from Soul Searching – things still hurt tho, not going to lie. I just miss my friend, and I think of the events both leading up to it and the event itself. We see each other occasionally throughout the day and it’s starting to feel better, but then there are subtle things that occur that makes me feel excluded and the mutual silence shows itself. I don’t really know what to do to improve things on a personal level, nor what I should do in general. I’ve been distant, and I’m trying to break out of it, but at the same time pieces of me are hesitant. Due to this situation and the events that took place, where the words and misdirection surrounded by the thoughts of how you view me, pokes it’s head. Just give me time, I’m sorry, you’re still important to me, and I’m improving.
Beyond those things, I’ve recently been hanging out with a cool group of people on the weekends. They invited me in, and we just have a good mutual time and it’s fun. Feels nice to be apart of a group that hangs out and does things with each other, much needed at this current time in my life, and I’m thankful for them. We met up at a convention yesterday, and saw all sorts of artists, designers and creators. A long side their work that they were selling to support their passion. I never get very many pictures, I’ll have to start cataloging these moments more attentively. Here are a couple I got.
So much good music out there on YouTube and this world, I like to listen to these melodic chill tunes, they really do take me away. Especially particular ones that pop up as the music continues to stream and emit, as I relax and melt away in my bed on these nights. This one here is the most recent one that resonated with me. Just feels good I suppose, and it has a message too. I particularly like the lyrics, “hold your lips, open your eyes, wont you say, what’s on your mind, you wont be left behind” – pretty much the only lyrics, but the accompanying melodic rhythm makes it feel good, at least to me.
I also got a new laptop recently, with the mindset that it’ll allow me to be more productive, as well as having the option to take it to a coffee shop and just chill out. I’m wanting to get out more, and having this should allow me to do that easier. Just need to find some cool places to go to. My ideal goal with this is to have it as a portable development platform where I can create and express myself. We’ll see how this turns out, but so far it feels good.
That’s about it, there is always more to write, but we’ll end it here for now.